When I’m walking a busy tradeshow floor, reconnecting with familiar faces and shaking hands with new ones, I feel like a networking machine. But once the event ends and I’m back home sorting through the stack of business cards I collected, I’m often faced with the challenge of remembering exactly who everyone is and what we connected over.
I’m embarrassed to admit that sometimes my memory fails me, but a new friend helped me realize that my brain isn’t always to blame.
Flashback to May, when nearly 2,000 attendees gathered at the Kentucky International Convention Center for MPI’s World Education Congress (WEC). Over the course of three days, I met a lot of them—I mean, a lot. Every business-card swap equaled a successful connection made, but most of them didn’t make it past the LinkedIn phase.
There was one person I met at WEC, though, whose name I would’ve remembered even without her business card—not for her fancy title, impressive resume and A-lister industry network, but for her authentic professionalism and how she approaches networking with the goal of giving new connections a reason to remember her.
Christy Renee Stehle is an award-winning hospitality professional, leadership trainer and professional speaker currently serving on the board of directors for National Speakers Association’s Georgia Chapter as director of content strategy—and she also happens to be an expert at making a good first impression.
[Related: The Z: Using Your Magnetic Presence to Cultivate Lasting Connections]
The Power of ‘Magnetic Presence’
When I met Christy, I initially thought our instantaneous connection was simply because we had so much in common, from being travel writers to having the same chaotic sleep schedules. Then, I realized I wasn’t only telling her about my chaotic sleep schedule, but about how I developed a melatonin dependency in college—and I’d only known her for maybe an hour.
There was just something about Christy's authenticity that made me feel like I could be real with her, too. When our conversation later revealed that she’s literally an expert at forming connections to build long-lasting professional relationships, I learned what that something was. Christy calls it “magnetic presence.”
“Think about this,” she said. “You’re on stage. You’re in front of an audience, and you know that feeling when you’re up there and you see them lean in, you see them put their phones down, or they’re holding it in their hand, completely forgetting about it. And then they look up at you and you can feel that tether of connection. You have them plugged in and engaged. You can feel when people are engaging, and you can feel when they’re distracted.
“Magnetic presence is tangible. It’s something you can feel,” Christy continued. “So, when I talk about being magnetic, that is through your communication, that is through your energy, and our magnetic presence tells our story before we ever even open our mouths.”
It’s also what you need to make people remember who you are.
Christy told me she hasn’t always had magnetic presence. Building authentic connections is a skill it took years and obstacles for her to develop, but my own experience proves she’s cracked the code.
Now, Christy is a professional speaker who teaches audiences about the power of magnetic presence and gives them the storytelling tools they need to pull people in, build rapport and create long-term professional relationships.
Here’s an overview of what I’ve learned from her about how to make yourself unforgettable.
[Related: The Z: Understanding the Importance of Mentorship in the Meetings Industry]
‘Courage Creates Confidence’
“Our society and the way it’s set up makes courage really difficult,” Christy said. “I love to geek out on neuroscience, and we talked about the world being so digital and overstimulating. That creates a lot of dopamine, or what I call ‘false dopamine.’ It’s spiking our levels constantly, and it makes things like courage, discipline, willpower, patience and not needing instant gratification really difficult.
“But if you know that and have that awareness, you can push yourself out there,” she added.
Christy first discovered the power of courage standing on the edge of a cliff 35 feet above the Adriatic Sea. She was with a group of attendees at a Mindvalley conference where, ironically, she’d be giving a talk on courage.
“Two days before I was scheduled to speak, I was asked to put my money where my mouth was,” Christy said. “I was invited cliff jumping, and my fear of heights was so paralyzing—there was just no way I could do that. But what was I supposed to do? Tell them, ‘Hey, I can’t go cliff jumping with you, but make sure to catch my talk on courage!’”
Somehow, Christy found herself hovering three stories above the waves. When her peers started counting down from three, courage replaced the fear holding her in place and suddenly her feet were off the ground.
“I plugged my nose, I held onto my torso and I leaped off that cliff, out of my metaphorical cage and landed in that cool, salty water,” Christy said. “And Taylor, I am telling you, when I landed, I was unstoppable. I had just faced the thing that I thought I could never do.
“I ended up getting on my dream stage [at Mindvalley] and I delivered the most magnetic, transformative performance of my life,” she added.
Cliff jumping took courage, being courageous gave Christy confidence, and her confidence made her audience love her.
“A lot of people I work with struggle with feeling egotistical or like they’re bragging or boasting when they show confidence,” Christy said. “But something happens when you push yourself to do the thing that you thought you couldn’t do. You radiate confidence, and people are attracted to that. That’s where magnetic presence and connection comes in.”
Courage creates confidence, and confidence makes you unforgettable.
[Related: The Z: 6 Tips to Make Networking Less Awkward]
The Value of Being Unforgettable
Right now, parts of the world are overcrowded—social media, technology, the job market, entrepreneurial side hustles. Some online job listings receive hundreds of applicants within a few hours, and most of the time, the listing disappears and applicants don’t hear a word back. Plus, developments like ChatGPT and Canva have given more people the skills they need to do more jobs. Nowadays, it seems anyone can do anything.
“We're living in this world where competition is fierce, the markets are overcrowded. How are you going to get the position? How are you going to get the gig? How are you going to plan the events that people choose to attend? Consumers have so many choices. How are you going to tell your story? How are you going to stand out?” Christy said. “It comes from your connections, and there's a reason we stayed in touch more than anybody else you met at WEC, because I understand the value of connections.
“It's not enough just to post about something. It’s not enough to use the ‘Easy Apply’ method. It's not enough just to be there and show up. You need to evoke emotion, get them to feel, drive them to action and really, all of that comes down to trust,” she continued, “and the fastest way to cultivate trust is through the connections that you have.
“So, if you want to stand out in 2024 and beyond, no matter what industry you're in, no matter what field you're in, you have to build your network,” Christy concluded. “Your network is your net worth.”
There’s one quote Christy likes to close her magnetic presence workshops with that sums up her message perfectly: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
Logging out with love,
Taylor
Built for Bravery
A sidebar by Christy Renee
Our bodies are tasked with the job of sending us signals of information about every single stimulus we receive. Thanks to our “lizard brain,” the reptilian amygdala that’s hardwired to keep us safe and out of harm’s way, we end up fearing more than we should in our modern age. Whereas centuries ago it was helpful to be on high alert often, our life today is more comfortable than it’s ever been—and that's a problem when it comes to exercising courage.
So, how can you push yourself to do the thing that scares you when your body rebels and says, ‘anything but that’? The answer is to align your body for bravery.
Here are the steps I follow to unleash my inner courage.
- The first step in systematically overriding our body’s stress response is to look at the fear we feel when pushing out of our comfort zones as information—and we can choose what to do with what we notice. Then, we have to practice getting comfortable in the uncomfortable. Resistance training like weightlifting or using resistance bands is a great method for this.
- Next, we have to eliminate “false fears.” These are everyday things that heighten our stress response, and they are often invisible. From caffeine to spicy foods and the “hang-xiety” left over from a night out, our consumption has a direct impact on how we feel. While everyone is different, you can get clear on what’s right (and wrong) for you by practicing a food diary for one week. Denote how you felt before eating, immediately after eating, 30 minutes later, three hours after that and finally, the next day. This will help you create a roadmap for feeling your best and knowing what your body needs to get there.
- Finally, it’s always helpful to work with an expert. So often, the fears that hold us back professionally boil down to a fear of public speaking. Whether you want to command attention while pitching in front of a networking group or you’re searching within for the unshakable confidence to pour your heart out onstage for the sake of your audience’s transformation, I can help you learn to connect to your inner confidence so that you shine as someone unforgettable in any space.
In 2018, I had the opportunity to speak into a microphone for the first time. I remember my heart pounding as blood rushed into my ears. It was the second day of Mindvalley University, Tallinn, and when a speaker asked a question from the stage, I immediately knew the answer. A beat went by, then two, and no one else was answering. I knew this was my time to shine—to stand up, speak my name and share an insightful lesson—but I backed out. I allowed my fear of self-expression to hijack my system and I let myself down. I remember feeling so discouraged. I couldn’t even hold a microphone and speak my name from the safety of my seat.
Having once felt invisible and stuck in life, I’ve come a long way in navigating out of chronic illness, low energy and the all-around disconnectedness that used to be my everyday normal. Over the last 10 years, I have radically transformed my mind, body and energy through in-depth research, experience and immersive educational seminars from the world’s leading experts in neuroscience, psychology, physiology and more. Now, I help global corporations and professionals stand out in the new era of business with innovative tactics that have been called “a must for anyone that’s human.”
Connect with Christy
www.christyrenee.com
On Instagram @as_christy_sees_it
On LinkedIn @christyreneestehle
Have a question about Gen Z or a topic you’d like to learn more about? Share your thoughts with Taylor at taylor.smith@meetingstoday.com, on Instagram at @tay__writes or on X at @taywrites.
Mission Statement: "The Z: Planning for the Industry’s Next Generation" is a Meetings Today column discussing the meetings and events industry’s newest and youngest members—the incoming Generation Z. Written by Meetings Today’s Taylor Smith, a member of Gen Z herself, The Z explores how to welcome, work with, understand and plan for the industry’s next wave of professionals while serving as a guide for members of Gen Z themselves, planners and attendees alike.
Read more from "The Z: Planning for the Industry’s Next Generation."
