Planning meetings, events and conferences can be a stressful job, and one that is typically taken very seriously by seasoned meeting veterans. But sometimes it’s good to take a step back and laugh about some of the absurd things that happen in our industry.
Here are three hilarious jokes and stories from meeting professionals to help give you a chuckle this April Fool’s Day.
A Meeting Planner Dies
Submitted by Michael Owen, Managing Partner, EventGenuity
A meeting planner dies. When she gets to the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells her that, rather than being judged for her sins today, she gets to choose whether she goes to Heaven or Hell.
The meeting planner replies that, of course, she wants to go to Heaven. St. Peter tells her that before she chooses, she must visit both places so each one will get a fair chance.
First, they visit Heaven. It looks amazing. Big fluffy clouds, angels singing and playing harps, everyone seeming to enjoy themselves. The meeting planner is pleased if a bit underwhelmed.
Hell, on the other hand, is magnificent! It’s the most beautiful place the meeting planner has ever seen, with everyone there having the time of their lives—and zero complaints about the room temperature!
The banquet menus are from 1995 and very cheap; banquet coffee is $10 per urn; the Wi-Fi is free and there’s no in-house AV company. There are several beautiful outdoor event spaces where it never rains, a beautiful garden, a pool with a water slide, a dance floor, a spa and innumerable other attractions. This all makes Heaven look dull and boring in comparison.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” the meeting planner said, “but I think I’d rather go to Hell!”
“Very well,” St. Peter said. “Turn around.”
When the meeting planner turns around, though, Hell appears to be completely different than it had been a minute ago. All the attractions are gone, prices are back to current and it’s raining, but everything is still on fire. The people are screaming in agony.
“I don’t understand!” the meeting planner cried. “This isn’t what you showed me before!”
“Oh, that?” replied St. Peter, “That was just the site visit.”
[Related: Meetings Horror Stories: Firetrucks, Bathroom Emergencies and an MTV Disaster!]
A Comedian’s Take on Meeting Planning
Submitted by Greg Schwem, Motivational Humorist and Corporate Standup Comedian
During Covid, it seemed like the theme of every virtual meeting was "Reimagining" or "Switching Gears." Which sounds a lot better than "Another day on zoom!"
I love it when meeting planners come up with an “original” theme for their meeting. That rarely happens. I've spoken at dozens of meetings where the theme always seems to be EXCITE!, or IGNITE!, or the worst one, FIND YOUR WOW! I spoke at a “Find Your Wow” meeting a few years ago and sadly, when the meeting was over, nobody found it.
And please, meeting planners, stop trying to tie the meeting theme to the city where the meeting is taking place. Every time I speak in Indianapolis, the theme always seems to be BUILT FOR SPEED! or MOVE TO THE FAST LANE! If your meeting is being held in Indianapolis, the theme should be, IT'S CHEAPER THAN CHICAGO!
One time I spoke at a meeting where the theme was CATAPULT FORWARD! Which is great, as long as the following year's theme isn't BOOMERANG BACK!
[Related: Corporate Comedian Greg Schwem Talks the Serious Business of Laughter]
A Magical Introduction
Submitted by Joel Zeff, National Keynote Speaker and Conference Emcee
This is the story of the GREATEST introduction I have ever received. I have spoken at around 2,500 events. And that means I have received 2,500 introductions. I have had some great ones. And I have had some "not so great" ones. This is about my ABSOLUTE favorite introduction OF ALL TIME.
Bob was assigned to read my introduction. He is a conference sponsor and has attended this event for 38 years. Tasked with giving my introduction, he started with a perfect pace and energy. He had the attention of the audience of 300 to 400.
One problem. Bob was handed the introduction of the previous day’s afternoon speaker, who was a magician. Bob was getting the audience excited about the magician. I was perplexed. Luckily, yesterday's speaker had a long introduction. I motioned to the organization president and pointed to the stage. He gave me the "everything is fine" hand gesture.
My microphone was on. I don't remember my exact words. Here is what I think I said from the side of the ballroom: "Bob!”
Bob then became startled that a Voice of God was speaking to him.
“Bob, you are doing an awesome job with the introduction, but you are reading the introduction for Scotty the Magician, yesterday's speaker. I am Joel, today's speaker. Do you think you could read my introduction?"
The audience laughed. I continued.
"Bob, I can try to do magic, but I don't think I would be very good."
At this point, the president jumps to the stage and gives my introduction to Bob. Bob did not miss a beat. He didn't hesitate. He commanded the stage and read my introduction. Bob was incredible.
When I got on stage, I said, "Bob, let's make one thing perfectly clear. You were awesome. And it wasn't your fault." The audience loved it. They gave Bob a huge round of applause. And it was an awesome way to introduce me and get the audience engaged.
After my presentation, many attendees asked if all this was planned and set up. I promised this was not planned. I also mentioned Bob in my closing remarks.
One of my key messages is about staying in the game. You can do anything you want in improvisation, and you will find success. The only thing you can't do is quit. You have to stay in the game.
Bob stayed in the game. And Bob was part of the greatest—and now my favorite—introduction of my career.
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